


on some level, i think i always understood

by viviolet



Series: it's like destiny [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Immortals, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Previous Sexual Assualt, M/M, Requited Unrequited Love, Temporary Character Death, aka me going out of my way to disappoint my youth pastor, also a bit where they drink do psychedelics and talk about sex, they get better its fiiiiiine, this time mostly fluff, you might need to squint but it's what i intended so i'm tagging it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25831435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viviolet/pseuds/viviolet
Summary: caduceus tells himself that feeling in his chest is his sense of fjord’s magic, intensified by the amount of time the pair spend together now. that’s much easier than the alternative.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Series: it's like destiny [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874032
Comments: 7
Kudos: 101





	on some level, i think i always understood

**Author's Note:**

> this is a continuation of my old guard mighty nein au that nobody asked for, but my brain has decided to deliver. i recommend you read that first if you somehow found yourself here without, but the tldr; the mighty nein are a team of immortal humans in an exandria with very limited magic fighting for what they think is right. caduceus is the newest member of this funny little family
> 
> title is from "never love an anchor" by the crane wives

After a series of truly unprecedented mistakes in Nicordanas (they had taken him to see the ocean as a treat after saving Nila’s family), Caduceus and his newfound friends finds themselves aboard _The Mistake_. They ran into the woman who had given the ship’s recently disposed captain his last orders, but Avantika didn’t seem too worried about the change of crew. She extended the preexisting offer to their team, to join her on raiding the holy site of an abandoned god. Of course, she did this with her cannons aimed at their hull. None of them had felt like being blown to bits and drowned for the next couple of weeks until they made it back to shore, so they accepted.

“I don’t trust her.” Jester huffs, crossing her arms. “She seems very passionate about this Uk’otoa for someone who claims to want to defile his temple in the name of profit.”

Veth rolls the small cannon-ball she nicked earlier between her hands. “I mean, she was practically eye-fucking Fjord earlier. Maybe if he took her up on that glass of wine we could – “

“No.” Fjord shakes his head fiercely, bumping the table with his knees as he rushes to stand. “I don’t care if it helps us, I won’t do it.” Caduceus has seen Fjord come back from the dead twice already, but he’s never heard him sound more hurt. Instinctually, he wants to reach out and touch him to let Fjord know he’s okay, but Caduceus knows that’s not what he needs right now.

They’re all quiet as Fjord stalks away, heading outside the cramped crew’s quarters.

“Fjord!” Veth calls in alarm, and after a moment, she goes after him.

They finish the evening in silence. No one speaks beyond brief _goodnights_ as they head off to bed. Caduceus feels as if some old terrible wound has been exposed to him, one he doesn’t have all the details to understand. As he scales the crow’s nest to meditate, he is struck by the fact that he both doesn’t, out of respect for Fjord’s privacy, and does want to, so he can better understand how to be there for him. Now’s not the time to ask though, it may not be so for many decades.

(It winds up not mattering, because Avantika tries to double-cross them the moment after they help her past the series of traps in the temple. Their ship is sunk, but Veth gets the killing blow. Fjord claps her twice on the back after they’re all healed up and making their way back towards the coast, on the newly christened _Ball-Eater_. While her misstep won’t be forgotten any time soon, Caduceus knows he’s forgiven her.)

As anyone who has been around for the length of time some of this group has been would have done, they’ve collected several small houses over the years. Never near civilization, but allowing them to sleep under a roof and in a bed for a few nights when they grow weary on the road. They had planned this weeks’ worth of rest in advance, allowing for Caduceus to stock up on fresh ingredients while they were in Port Zoon. He missed a lot about the Blooming Grove, but the vegetable garden was up there.

He cooks for his new family at least every night, and often prepares breakfast and lunch when he isn’t caught by the rest of the group in time. Yasha was the first to discover that he was willing to accept assistance in the kitchen, and after that the rest had settled for rotating in to help with what they could. On the second to last night, Fjord had beaten him for dinner preparations, but thankfully took direction when given it. As old immortals are wont to do with young ones, their discussion drifted towards the topic of magic and the nature of their condition.

“You said you sense magic.” Fjord says from where he’s dumping sliced cabbage into the soup pot.

Caduceus nods, then remember he’s not being looked at. “Yes. You all have it, a side effect of the whole unkillable thing I’m sure, but I can’t sense it unless you’re next to me it reads so faintly. And it is different in each one of you.”

“Really?” Fjord’s voice is small, filled with awe. “What does mine feel like to you?”

“The older you are, the louder it is I think, but yours is the most soothing. It makes me feel world-weary but learned. Like you’ve been touched by magic, but never tempted.”

Fjord chuffs from the other side of the kitchen. “That last bit is nothing impressive, not for this bunch.”

“It is.” Caduceus insists, pausing his chopping to look over at Fjord. He’s hunched over the counter with terrible posture; he’ll have a knot in his back tomorrow. “It feels different, to me at least.” He pauses, wondering if what he’s about to say will be a misstep, but decides Fjord will allow him grace if it is. “Caleb. He’s got a similar feel that you do, but there’s something… off. He knows magic, practiced it I would guess. But he was seduced by it.”

“He knew the wizard we met. Back before we knew you. When Molly…” Fjord’s voice breaks, and he has to take a moment to gather himself. “Caleb won’t tell us about his past. If you sense that kind of magic in him, I believe you, but it’s nothing I can explain.”

“Perhaps he has his reasons then, for keeping his history secret.” Caduceus muses, slicing more onion. “I may not be able to understand why though, nothing of note ever happened to me before I died.”

Fjord looks over from where he’s chunking the potatoes. “Oh, I don’t buy that for one moment.

“It’s true.” Caduceus insets

“No it’s not. Tell me,” Fjord says, chopping abandoned and resting his chin on his fist with a conspiratorial look, “something you’ve never told the others. Doesn’t have to be major. But you have something.”

Caduceus dumps the onions into the gently boiling pot and takes the rest of the potatoes Fjord has yet to cut. He tells Fjord of the time he and his sisters snuck his sleeping brother into the middle pond near the Blooming Grove and yes of course it was _justified_ , Colton had been shrinking on his chores and stealing Caduceus’s crystal for a week. It had been his own plan, but Calliope was crucial for execution, so it’s as much her fault as his own. Fjord has devolved into heavy-bellied laughter by the time the rest of the vegetables are prepared and all they have to do is watch the pot.

(Over dinner that night, Fjord attempts to retell the story and forgets about half the details and all the fun alliteration. Beau calls bullshit on Caduceus’s ability to move that stealthily when she can get a word in over Jester’s raucous laughter. Caleb is the one to make sure the proper corrections are made from the source, but even he seems entertained. Caduceus can scarcely take his eyes off Fjord, trying to etch that genuine smile into his mind.)

Now that they no longer dream of one another, sleep is common on the road. One or two will spend the night awake on watch, out of habit more than anything else. Caduceus finds himself to be awake many nights, often making tea or leafing through Jester’s current sketchbook for entertainment. He had just completed brewing his second batch of tea one night when Fjord startles awake with a shout.

“Bad dream?” He asks while offering Fjord a freshly filled cup.

Fjord takes it, blows gently before his first sip. “How haven’t you run out of tea leaves yet?”

Caduceus shrugs. “I have, from home. But there’s plants on the road and merchants in towns. As long as there’s people, tea can be found.”

They let comfortable silence sit between the two of them before Fjord sucks in a deep breath and asks, “What do you do, when you have a dream you feel like you’re not going to wake up from?”

He’s been warned by Yasha to be careful with Fjord, but Caduceus feels there’s nothing dangerous here with the truth, and he’s going to have to hope he’s right. “I pray.”

“To the Wildmother.” Fjord has finished his tea.

Caduceus nods, fingers reflexively ghosting over the swirl shaved into his hair.

Silence lapses between them again, before “How… How do you know you’ve been heard?”

“You have to learn how to listen to Her. She speaks through everything in nature, you just have to know what you’re looking for.” Fjord looks skeptical, so he elaborates. “In the shifting of the leaves, by birdsongs, the temperature of the air, and in the absence of Her.” Caduceus finds himself thinking of that day in the Grove when he was weak, when he didn’t understand what his dreams meant. “In nature, silence is just as loud as screaming.”

Fjord watches him for a very long time, expression unchanging. “I don’t understand.” He admits, as he rests his head on the ground again, empty teacup placed near Caduceus. “But I want to.”

He pretends to be asleep for a good while longer before it takes him for good again. Caduceus doesn’t say anything, just cleans out the cup and watch the fire crackle until early morning.

(After that, Fjord watches him more closely while he meditates, when his hands are clasped in prayer. They’re working in the Empire right now, trying to finish off all the slavers they had found through letters in the Sour Nest. Caduceus wishes they were elsewhere, somewhere that the Wildmother’s worship was permitted so he could buy Fjord a book about her. Caduceus does his best to recall what his parents taught him when he’s asked questions and allows himself to hope that Fjord is looking for a place for Her in his ancient heart.)

The whole business with the Luxon becomes distracting. They get tied up in Xhorhas for months and walk a fine line of keeping their secret while still providing the Bright Queen with the aid they feel her cause deserves. Also, Yasha’s possession issue. When Jester asks him about his family while out running an errand, a sense of dread overtakes him that he hadn’t allowed himself to feel since he was last in the Savalirwood. By some small mercy, they’re not too far away from the Dust family at the time, so they stop and visit. They receive scattered memories of meeting each member of his family over the past decade and directions to the Stone clan. In return, their group helps collect some rare materials and nearly get eaten by a dragon for their effort.

It’s not long after, back on the road, that Fjord asks how he might go about committing himself to Melora. Maybe not forever, and it could really be forever for them, but Fjord has found himself directionless for so long and wouldn’t say no to divine intervention. And it’s easily found, when Caduceus is right in front of him and so willing to give it. The ceremony is small and quiet, but full of meaning for each of them. Caduceus closes it out with a gift.

“Since when?” Fjord asks him when Caduceus clasps the chain around his neck.

“Oh, not very long. I had it made in the Cinderrest Sanctum.” Caduceus teases, but the sincerity in Fjord’s voice tricks him into honesty. “I’ve been trying to design it since that night you said you wanted to understand. Jeramess provided the finishing touches.”

He’s from rising to his feet with a hand on his knee.

“Thank you.” His eyes say he doesn’t mean for the holy symbol.

Caduceus slowly tilts his head, waiting for elaboration but it never comes. “Forgive me, but whatever for?”

“For all of this.” Fjord’s hand raises up to the pendant of the Wildmother around his neck, fingering it nervously. “For being you, coming to us how you did and sharing what you know. I’m inspired by you.”

He lets those words hang in the air as he selfishly dedicates them to his memory. “For what it’s worth,” Caduceus says back “those words alone have made leaving my home, going through all of this, entirely worthwhile. It may not mean much, but I think there are great things ahead of you.”

“Ahead for all of us.” Fjord says firmly, hand going from his pendant to pat the back of Caduceus’s hand. “We’re going to find them, Deuces. I promise.”

Caduceus’s heart soars at the thought of seeing his family again.

“Besides,” Fjord adds as he rises from his cross-legged position. “I need to get Colton’s side of the pond story. I fear I may have a biased narrator.”

(He joins Caduceus in early morning prayer and meditation, occasionally having to cut time short so Beau can keep her workout partner. Caduceus tells himself that feeling in his chest is his sense of Fjord’s magic, intensified by the amount of time the pair spend together now. That’s much easier than the alternative.)

Caduceus is immortal for a year before he gets drunk for the first time. It’s during a brief visit to Zadash while they’re chasing the worrying tale of abducted children. They get in late and decide to drink the rest of the night away, since their contact won’t arrive until late tomorrow. Caduceus is prepared to turn in early, but even Caleb is sitting at a sticky table in the dive bar, so he begrudgingly stays. Jester insists he tries one of her “favorites”, which winds up being a small glass of milk with two shots of whiskey in it. It’s disgusting, but they cheers and sip away.

The whiskey in milk has curdled, which he assumes is the reason he begins to feel lightheaded (he’ll figure out later that’s just how getting drunk works). They’re teasing Caleb for his horrendous impression of Veth from earlier that day, when Caduceus finds himself opening his mouth in Fjord’s drawl. They all turn to him in delight.

“Again!” Veth exclaims. “Say ‘I can’t remember!”

“I cahn -.” He tries, tilts his head. “I cahn’t. I cahn’t remember” It still doesn’t sound much like Fjord.

Caleb has a shit-eating grin on his face, thrilled to realize one of his other teammates also can’t do accents. “Hit us,” he proposes “with a ‘Yes captain’.”

“For the mother of –“ Yasha protests the use of her much resisted nickname next to Caduceus.

Fjord is looking at him expectantly, ignoring the giggling Jester next to him.

“Yes captain!” He says, tongue tripping over his teeth as he speaks too quickly. “Oh, that’s hard to say.” Caduceus feels like the last part of the word is stuck in his mouth. “’Tain, ‘tain ‘tain.”

“You got caught up in the moment,” Fjord reassures him, with a fond smile. “You just gotta like… Yes, captain.” He makes a waving hand motion that Caduceus copies in an attempt to get a better feel for Fjord’s accent.

 _What. What does that have to do with anything_. The voice in the back of his head is bothersome, and not helping.

“It is really cool when you do that though. It is – “ He tries to stop himself, why is he saying this? “You know, you know. It’s pretty cool when you do that.”

The rest of them devolve into good natured laughter, as the drink has clearly taken a strong hold on Caduceus. He faceplants into the table, too embarrassed to look at anyone else. From his right, Yasha gives his shoulder a couple of gentle pats of understanding.

He doesn’t know how he winds up drinking with them again on their second night in Zadash, but the responsible ones (Fjord, Caleb and Yasha) are out meeting with their source to discuss the location of where the missing children are being taken, and Beau wants them to try these _super cool_ powdered mushrooms she picked up a half dozen stops ago.

Veth and Jester get drinks while he’s in charge of grabbing a table. Beau, Melora bless her, is chatting up a group of women. He’s joined by the girls at the bar, and they teasingly imitate the conversation they’re imagining Beau is having. When the drinks come, tall glasses full of fermented tea, Beau finally joins them.

“Meeting any of them later?” Jester asks, holding her glass out towards Beau.

“Nah.” The other woman says, pouring a healthy amount of the powder into Jester’s drink. She does the same for Veth, goes gently on Caduceus, and dumps a double serving into her own drink. “What about you, Caddy?” She asks, wicked grin on her face. “See anyone you’d like to get lucky with later?”

“Lucky?” Caduceus asks as he takes a cautious sip.

Beau throws out a hand, looking at him like he’s grown horns. “Lucky! Smash, pick up, go to pound town with!”

Caduceus shakes his head.

“She means sex.” Veth says, pouring some of her own flask into the drink in front of her, apparently dissatisfied with its strength.

“Oh.” Caduceus says, feeling foolish. “Well, almost everyone I met before you guys were coming to a graveyard to bury their loved ones so… I fear I’m lacking the experience required ‘to get lucky’.”

Jester snorts into her own drink, alarmingly having already downed half of it. “Oh, please don’t tell me your family was the type to never allow you to get yourself off.”

“Well, yeah, of course we could, if we could find the privacy.” Caduceus says with a nod.

“But you’re a priest!” Veth squeaks, looking at him indigently.

Caduceus laughs, the concoction in front of him slipping him into relaxation much faster than he anticipated. “If you want to call it that. But the Wildmother is all about nature you know. Sex, and all that comes with it, is _very_ natural.” Caduceus relishes in his friends’ shocked expressions, before he sinks into his booth and admits, “The thought does make me nervous though, never having done it before.”

“Some folk used to make a _really_ big deal about first times, especially back when I was born.” Jester agrees, licking her teeth. “But, like everything, it’s all about what you make of it, right?”

“Jester’s right.” Veth says, in between fast drinks. “And we’re not the type to judge about that.”

“No more than we do about anything else.” Beau says as she slings an arm around his neck. “But on type, Deucey, what’s yours? What do you find attractive?”

Artfully untangling himself, Caduceus tries to think on what she means by that. “Strength, I guess? And height.” That one he’s more certain on, he’s tall himself and would like to at least come close to looking his lover in the eyes.

“Ooh.” Jester says, mischief alight in her eyes. “Like Yasha?”

He scrunches his nose at the thought. “No, not like Yasha.” He loves her, dearly, she was the first of them he came to love. But not how they mean.

Jester isn’t looking at him but watching Beauregard’s reaction. He can’t see her face, but he feels her relax the slightest.

“What about the group of women I was talking to earlier?” Beau tries. “Any one of them?”

None of their faces stand out in his memory. “Not in particular, no.”

“The server?” Jester nods at another woman, no, the girl who brought them drinks. She’s all fresh faced and frizzy hair and couldn’t be older than seventeen.

“No.” This one is the fastest rejection, causing him to give Jester a puzzling look. “She’s practically a baby!”

Veth leans across the table, trying to hide the finger she’s pointing with. “Okay, yeah, but what about the bouncer?”

“Maybe. Huh.” He lets himself watch the man standing by the door. Muscled, but also lean enough that you can tell he’d be quick in a fight. Something about his light green eyes, the way the look yellow in the candlelight... He realizes the other three are watching him knowingly. “What,” he protests, “Are you guys always like this with one another?”

“Yeah, but you’re the new guy. It’s still novel.” Beau protests, stirring her drink with her finger. “It can get pretty same-old, same-old with these chucklefucks.”

Jester gives him a toothy grin. “But not if you stop to smell the flowers and trip balls every now and then.”

(When they tease him about it later, Caduceus uses the stress of the job they’re working on for his distraction. Nonetheless, it’s embarrassing that it took him so long to figure it out when the rest were able to read him so quickly. It’s when he watches Fjord carry out the first boy out of the basement, hugging him tight to his chest and whispering words of comfort that stop the child’s tears, that Caduceus’s heart sings loud enough for him to understand and he finally thinks _Oh, it’s you_.)

The flutter in his breastbone is what wakes him that night. They’ve become involved in peace negotiations between the Dynasty and the Empire through a serious of increasingly unbelievable escapades and have managed to get themselves invited to witness the actual truce be agreed upon. They’re back on the _Ball Eater_ as the hunchbacked navigator they hired before has been managing the ship and making them a nice nest egg on the side. It’s their third night out on the ocean when he wakes, confused about what magic he could be sensing. Then the ship’s bell begins to ring.

Quick as a whip, Beau races above deck before the rest of them have completely blinked the sleep out of their eyes and grabbed weapons. Creatures are slithering in through the hatches on the gun deck. Caduceus follows the path that Yasha carves towards the top deck. They’re being splashed with sea foam instead of blood, Caduceus notes as he collapses the skull of one of their attackers with a brutal swing of his staff.

“Get off our ship!” He grunts and his chest goes fuzzy as the swarm of beetles fly out from the amethyst crystal.

They begin to devour their enemies, not finishing them off but weakening so that Veth and even Caleb can manage to kill one. Jester is a menace with her axe, hacking anything that dares approach her to pieces. Things are starting to look manageable when a heavy thud sounds above them.

“Fjord!”

Beau’s scream fills him with dread. He exchanges a look with Yasha, and they race to the top deck, ignoring hits they take along the way. Caduceus thinks his leg gets slashed to the bone at one point, but he just doesn’t care, he needs to get to Fjord and stop whatever is making Beau that terrified.

Fjord is lying, unmoving on the deck, soaked through like he had been thrown in the sea and dragged himself back out. The figure standing over him looks deceptively human at first, but the grayish blue skin and split-open jaw indicate otherwise. His beetles are still buzzing around him, doing their very best to consume everything in his warpath.

The creature is digging at Fjord’s chest, like he’s trying to carve something out of him. Beau has made her way over to them and launches herself onto its back and does her best to pummel its face in. One of her hands is torn to ribbons by the creature’s unnatural teeth. It shakes like something furious, and Beau is thrown with such force she almost goes over the deck.

But her distraction is enough for Caduceus to reach Fjord and attempt to pull him away from this ocean monster. A sword goes through his shoulder and Caduceus’s has to fight every bone in his body not to jerk away. Instead he looks up and gives a guttural growl. He gets a horrifying scream in return as it resumes its efforts in dragging Fjord overboard.

He’s holding on desperately to Fjord, but this monster’s talons are strong. Yasha comes from behind him and cripples it for a moment with a blow from her sword but Caduceus’s grasp is slipping he’s going to lose him and –

A spectral green arrow fires over his shoulder, making contact with the skull of the _thing_ trying to take Fjord away from him, into the endless angry sea. Caduceus looks over his shoulder and makes eye contact with Caleb, who is shaking from the effort of casting. He doesn’t watch the magic acid dissolve the monster to its chest, doesn’t notice his beetles retreat back into the crystal, just holds Fjord’s body to his while he exchanges a nod with the other man.

They can discuss this later.

They move Fjord to the center of the deck, far away from any creature that mighty try to scale the boat again and steal him away. Jester patches up a few of the crew who took a beating, and Yasha joins Veth to assess the damages below deck. Beau and Caleb exchange a quiet, but heated conversation. She’s trying to disguise her worry with anger but they’re both exhausted and relieved. Caduceus pushes Fjord’s hair back, expecting the other man to lazily open his eyes to tease him, but he does not stir.

He hasn’t come back yet. Cold fear grasps Caduceus as he pushes aside the tattered fabric of Fjord’s bed shirt, and an unhealed wound stares back at him.

“Fjord!” Caduceus screams out of a need to make noise, say something to process what’s happening in front of him. His cry attracts the attention of the rest, and Beau and Jester are at his side in moments.

“What’s wrong?” Beau asks, taking Fjord’s still hand with a grim expression that says she already knows.

Caduceus’s hand goes back to Fjord’s hair, his short-circuiting brain only allowing for the motion of pushing the dark hair back to be repeated over and over. Jester places a soft hand on his still tender shoulder.

“I don’t understand.” Caduceus whispers before the tears start. He presses his forehead to Fjord’s, desperate to find some warmth, some sign of life, proof that he hasn’t left him yet.

Jester will draw it out for them later, the way the vines grew out and wrapped themselves around the planking where the pair lay. As the vines cover the bodies of their attackers, they began to bloom. Flowers of pink, green and yellows, tiny white blossoms scattered between them. They’re not massive tendrils, but persistent, in every crack they can manage. Unavoidable. As the smaller ones begin to descend off the side of the deck into the ocean, the tide shifts.

The faintest noise comes from Fjord’s lips, and his body shudders back to life.

“What...” Fjord’s eyes go from Caduceus to Beauregard, down to the wound in his torso that is still slowly knitting itself together. “Shit.” His body violently shakes with a cough that sprays a bit of blood on the face hoovering over his own. He reaches his hand up to wipe it but finds himself unwilling to remove it from Caduceus’s cheek once his hand is placed there.

Caduceus catches his wrist with his own hand. “It’s okay.” He reassures Fjord, still unable to stop his crying. “You gave us quite the scare.”

A teardrop falls on Fjord’s chin “I hope you can forgive me.”

He pulls himself towards Caduceus’s mouth slowly, giving him the chance to pull away. Caduceus has to hold back a laugh. _He’s foolish to imagine a world where I wouldn’t want this_. He ducks his head gently, meeting Fjord partway and sealing the kiss. It’s a tender and fragile thing, but backed by an unrelating force on both sides. They’re both too exhausted dedicate this time to exploration, and concede instead to holding one another, grounding and confirming that they’re real, they’re both alive, and this is happening.

As they break apart, Fjord’s gaze falls on the flowering vines centered around his body.

Caduceus fails miserably in his attempt not to blush when the other man looks back at him, eyes full of wonder and adoration.

“You’re extraordinary.” His voice is warm as he pulls Caduceus in for another kiss.

(Later there’ll be time to talk. For tonight, they all sleep in a mess of blankets on the gun deck. Caduceus sleeps on the side closest to a closed cannon slack, curled up protectively around Fjord’s back. The rest sleep in a scattered radius around the pair, bone-tired. There’s going to have a lot to discuss, be honest about the past and old wounds. What this new magic he has means. Figuring out the reason they were attacked will be a saga of its own. They still need to ensure that peace is brokered. But that’s for later. For now, they have one another and that’s all that matters.)

**Author's Note:**

> if you can't get canon teahaw, homemade is fine
> 
> find me at [somecommonbitch](https://somecommonbitch.tumblr.com) on tumblr


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